My update and post on eczema has brought on many comments from parents who understand and who are going through what dealing with an eczema child is like. Through parents from various countries who share openly about the difficult situations they are coping with and finding parallel in many areas of coping and handling eczema, it brings to mind that we are not alone in this ‘fight’ against the eczema beast.

I have dedicated most of my time and effort since my last post on helping the Angel with her eczema. No effort or time is spared to ensure that we achieve eczema-free days. We keep to a daily regime of routine and attention that have brought us so far to our mostly eczema-free days. The month of April was the sweetest time of our lives since our return!

There are still bad days when our quality of life is severely affected but those have been the occassional days rather than the norm until recently!!!

Fighting the eczema beast in Singapore has been a steep learning curve at times but through love, patience and karuna (and constantly asking for more of these three qualities in my life), we have managed to bring life to a normalcy.

I throw my life out of tangent, socialise only with those who understand my constraints, do the minimal required in a day, and focus entirely on the Angel.

Having not kept up with blog reading, I recently read a post from Mel (Perspective of Life in a Different Pasture) who has very kindly dedicated a post on ‘Coping with Eczema‘ to me when I asked about how she coped with her eczema child in Singapore. Many, many thanks for such a generous gesture, Mel!

I cope with the Angel’s eczema (sans steroid, sans medication) through a few simple ways :

1) Carrot juice - the juicing continues! All I can say is that, the daily carrot juice does its own wonders on the Angel’s skin. Two sticks of carrots and an apple a day. Trust me, but they are the mainstay to eczema-free days!

2) Fish oil - the Angel is back on fish oil. According to Dr Hugo, it is in the Angel’s filggarin that is causing all that dryness. Whether or not fish oil is helping, I know that the carrot juice is doing its bit!

3) Stress-free - I see how stress brings on the onset of the itch-scratch cycle. I keep away from stressful situations (there are just some places that create a lot of stress for either of us) and plan the day carefully, especially when going out of the comfort zone of home. I learn to say ‘no’ when it is better to stay home and I learn to do less but yet achieve more (when you have eczema-free days, you have achieved loads!) in a day.

4) Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize - the Angel is kept moisturized daily (I’m currently using Aqueous Cream and QV but most moisturizer works) and I found the most effective sunscreen that works and which we use even when at home (Avene Sun Protection for Children 40 SPF)! Expensive but worth every penny of our money!
5) Time and attention - Almost all of my time and attention is dedicated to the Angel. Without the time and attention, the simple understanding of the habit of the mind of my eczema child, it will be almost impossible to achieve eczema-free days. It is also CRUCIAL that people who spend time with your eczema child knows how to handle it as well. I have seen how others can perpetuate the scratching habit and make achieving eczema-free days REALLY an arduous journey.

6) Herbal Rinse from Weeds (picked from fields in Singapore) -  My parents conscientiously pluck a certain wild weed growing at open fields in Singapore and attest to everyone that it is the daily herbal rinse from this particular weed that is healing the Angel’s skin. I do agree that the weed has a cooling effect on the skin and also provide the Angel a mental deposit to overcome her scratching but I cannot ascertain that it is the reason for her beautiful skin.

While I’m writing this, the Angel’s skin has recently been quite broken and badly scratched up. The circumstances leading to her scratching really deserve another post of its own but for now, parents who are dealing with eczema children in Singapore, I’d suggest the above to achieve more eczema-free days!

Categories: Where We Live, Eczema
2 Comments »

I’m currently a little tired out by everything that is happening but one thing I try not to give up on is reducing our family’s carbon imprint.

Annie Leonard’s powerful and simple to understand video of ‘The Story of Stuff’ is a must watch for everyone.

This video resounds in my mind so loudly and I agree with very much of what she has to say, especially when I’m back home to see all that consumerism in our society - the compalling buy buy syndrome.

Is there really no end to buying?

If you think you aren’t going to sit through that 20 minute video, start from the Consumption part (yes, you can select different parts for viewing), it might just speak volume about to you.

Categories: Where We Live, Environment, The Bigger Issues
4 Comments »

It has been a long hiatus and my blog has been dormant for months - almost five months have past!

Having crossed continents and settling into life back ‘home’ has taken a lot of getting used to, what with the extreme weather difference and hitting back into the culture which we have not been so immersed in since our stint in UK. It is inevitable that we are looking at every aspect of our lives with a new found consciousness. This is the uncomplicated part of our new lives.

Our current struggle lies in helping the Angel acclimatize to the sultry weather.

The two week tolerance level reached its peak upon our return and by the second week, her eczema took a turn for the worst and we have been going downhill and  fluctuating since then. Currently, her body simply cannot adjust to the hot, hot weather here and she is a perpetual ‘furnace’.

In a nutshell, we went back to that elusive sleep, vicious cycle of scratching, broken skin, lots of crying, sadness, frustration. If life is anything to go by, it must be having a child who is enjoying her life and not suffering through it.

Again, I learn, all over, to cope with her eczema in an entirely new environment. I admit, I made the mistake of not following my maternal instinct, that maternal prompting.

When we were back, the Angel was on her eczema free days. She was a beautiful child and she was enjoying her time in Singapore. We spent two wonderful nights at the beautiful Amara Scantuary Resort at Sentosa before settling into a temporary home and then full time work for both of us.

By the time we started to settle into the routines of life here, and it was time for me to go to work, the Angel was still as beautiful. For the first time in our lives, we both had to leave her to my parents while we left for work. If we had a moment, I think we would have cried in each other’s arms. Our brief moments in the lift left us both so touched by her bravery and her adaptability. She gave us many hugs before we left but not a single whine or cry. She said her goodbyes so easily, we were the ones who felt we could not leave her behind. It wasn’t separation anxiety on our part, as someone out it, but rather, it was a kind of sadness in leaving her to someone else, albeit grandparents. I guess we were so used to having her with either of us.

 Anyway, those were the good days.

 All I can say now is, I did not stick to my maternal prompting and put my foot down on what I can say is a stop to allowing the eczema to flare up or perhaps, like the doctor said, there is a level of tolerance and by the end of the second week, I have a very broken child, whose physical body is overtaken by the severity of such acute eczema that emotionally, she is all broken and totally dependent on me.

I had to seek medical help, work from home, deal with a child who cannot cope with the environment. I retreated, once again, into my own world; I dreaded meeting people - it is true what I have said before, wherever I go, I get stares or advices from everyone who has something to say about her condition. Nothing makes it easier for me to explain to them that my child is currently suffering from severe eczema and yes, I am under the best medical care. I have recommendations from strangers to see doctors all over, even to KL or someone with something so hurtful to say (ouch!) about my child that frankly, I was no longer interested to go out.

 For a long time, I fell into depression. I didn’t want to see anyone because no one understands what it means to have a child with eczema. I didn’t want to talk to anyone who thinks that I’m not doing anything right or who comes with advices that I have to follow. I didn’t want to socialise because no one understands my constraints and difficulties. I closed all doors and only those who are close enough and who understands all that emotional stress that I am going through are allowed in because I do not have any energy left to explain. I was simply overwhelmed with tiredness and my physical body is not at its tip to handle any of this in one go.

All I can say now is, things are looking up. I spend all my waking and sleeping moments on the Angel. My relentless efforts are aimed at building up her skin barrier dysfunctions and only when the physical body of an eczema child is built up, then can the emotional needs be met easier. I see for myself how the Angel fell, from the most beautiful child and such an amazingly adaptable one to a totally broken child because her physical body is giving her all the trouble.

I learn to stay away from people who make my job so much harder; I desperately need to heal myself and seek encouragement to go on because this can be such a daunting, disheartening and endless task at times that all I can say is, I haven’t found a replacement yet. I learn to put my foot down, I learn to say ‘no’, I learn that whatever I do, I meet the Angel’s needs and I know then, that life will be beautiful again. I know it is hard for anyone to comprehend what I am doing but in the long run, I will have a beautiful child and then, I can repair whatever is broken. At times, it is no point talking till the cows go home, because it takes the main caregiver to know what it means to handle a child with eczema.

At the same time, I quit socialising. I’m sorry to all those friends and family whom I cannot meet and I’m eternally thankful to those who understand more than judge what I’m going through or who understand my needs to be home most of the time and to stick to the Angel’s routines. Something’s gotta give.

With medical care, I believe that I have finally found THE doctor (Dr T.Thirumoorthy) who understands more about handling eczema and being a mother to a child with eczema than anyone I have ever met. I used to meet him once in two weeks; I call those sessions MY therapy sessions because I ALWAYS walk out of the clinic knowing that I can continue to do what I’m doing for the Angel despite the desire to throw in the towel at times. He encourages me that with my knowledge on eczema, all I need now is to perserve on and imagine that I’m running a marathon. I know now why my parents call him the miracle doctor. No, he did not miraculously heal the Angel and I didn’t expect anyone to, and I went along to the doctor because my parents believe that he would. Little did they know that he did more good than anyone has done on earth for me to handle the Angel. So, YES, he is the MIRACLE doctor. If I think that I cannot go on anymore, he will be the person I will turn to because I know that I will walk out of his clinic knowing “that’s why God makes mothers”.

Visitng consultant, Professor Hugo, at NSC, helps us with the Angel’s allergies. Again, he is another doctor who plays a part in assuring me that there are good doctors out there who take a real and keen interest in each individual child and who is NOT one who just wants to whisk you out of his clinic to see the next patient. With him, we want to test out the allergies (known or unknown) that the Angel is saddled with and hopefully, knowing the leakages can help us to handle the acute eczema.  

 Lastly, the Angel is also under the care of an experienced Chinese sinseh who understands what eczema is all about. I believe that TCM works from inside out and heals the body than treats just the prevailing condition. The challenge was in looking for one who is experienced in eczema and most importantly,  without prescribing dubious cream. Having found Dr Wong from Chee Seng Tong is another prayer answered, thanks to a friend’s recommendation. He himself told me my child has eczema (severe) and I’m in for the long haul. Had he told me that he had some miracle cream, I knew I would have walked out of the clinic. With him, we discuss diet control. Being aware of how some strong chinese medication can harm a person’s liver, I’m glad each prescription comes with a proper ingredient list with dosage which I keep a record of.

I spent the whole of my last month not leaving the Angel at all and she was almost completely healed. We reached almost some form of eczema free days but few days ago, I, again, made the mistake of leaving her, just for a mere three hours to tend to some school work, and I came home to an all scratched-up child. My heart is broken and there is a lot of repair to be done again but I assure you, life is looking better and I know I can go on.

We have found the dream home that gives us the peace, the coolness, the quality of life that we need to move on and we are grateful. After three months into work (although I was working from home most of the time, with heartfelt gratitude to my superiors), I am now a SAHM. God has shown me many humbling moments and I can’t be more grateful. On Christmas day, my home was filled with warmth by three sets of people who came and cheered up my life. It makes me think that I’m ready to meet people again. We spent the New Year at the ‘highlands’ in Malaysia, just to find a respite from the heat for the Angel so that she could go out into the great outdoors when there is daylight. Those two days did wonders for her soul and she finally gave herself and me long hours of sleep.

I am now looking for a support group in Singapore with regards to handling children with eczema. We gather from doctors the statistics of children with eczema in Singapore is astonishing. Having the knowledge to deal with eczema is so important and I hope I can not only share mine, but learn from other parents as well. Parents who deal with children with eczema need a lot of support and help and I’m sure building a community of practice of sort will help parents go a long way.

I am going to be back at blogging and catching up on blog reading. My friends, you will hear from me soon. I have given all my time to my work and my child and now, I think it is time to come out, a little of my world, to socialise, to talk, to hold discourses again. I’m still a keen parent on observing my child, and homeschooling, despite the mounting challenges I face.

It is the new year and it signals a new beginning to a good start and I embrace that. A peaceful and happy new year to everyone!

Categories: Where We Live
15 Comments »

Terribly sorry about my ‘disappearance’; too much has been and is happening and with packing life into boxes and still trying to get as much out of life, blogging time has to be compromised.

 However, I’ll be back! Watch my space!

Categories: Uncategorized
9 Comments »

Sometime ago, I finally met my beloved and wise friend, D, on msn and we were having a discourse about being gracious.

Many incidents recently made me rethink life, people and graciousness again.

Over the last few weekends, I have had many situations that challenge my personal graciousness.

1) To make a long story short, we were treated very rudely and inflexibly by an organiser of a fair. Only upon insistence, with as much grace as I could muster but remaining steadfast in my point of view, did I get a fair chance. Despite my difficulty, I tried to make provisions and work within the organiser’s difficulty. However, the inflexibility of humans, the lack of empathy, the choice of words and tone all led me to think what it is to be gracious.

2) In that very same fair, I walked around with my box of fruit cake and offered it to a lady who was selling some ale. We had a short talk about her product and how bad her sales had been for the day. I thought I could boost up her sale a little (not that it’d be worth a lot) as well as offer something to guests at my place. In that short exchange, I received an insult from the lady that I was a ’stingy host’ (but of generous character to share my cake) just because I was not ready to purchase a box of four big bottles of ale for my guests. She called me a ’stingy host’ twice. My initial idea was to buy a bottle as drinking is not our culture and neither do I have the luxury to spend. I stopped short at explaining myself and walked away gracefully, as well as having a good laugh, by telling her that I wouldn’t be buying for that moment and had to go think about my ’stingy-ness’, as she so labelled me. I also walked away wondering about why she was so quick to judge me.

3) Some weeks ago, we spent a weekend at North Wales (yes, we finally saw Wales). The Snowdonia Mountains shared almost the same gorgeous look as the Wicklow Mountain in Ireland (my favourite mountain on earth) but the entire experience with the Welsh sent the experience back. The alternative dad had two conversations with a man who only spoke through his caravan (no, he did not even see his face and had to literally ’shout’ to hold a conversation); we were told ‘not a chance’ to pass through another driveway by yet another man who refused to be flexible or listen to our needs. We spent the night in our caravan at a carpark. It was weird. It felt as if people could not care less what your problem was, as long as it wasn’t theirs.

4) My inlaws and family came for a visit and I had to severely compromise my time, routine and discipline with the Angel. I was gracious to a certain point where I felt that I needed to sort out my thoughts. I had to get out of the situation (hid in the room and cried my heart out) and then stepped in with grace to handle the Angel. It wasn’t anyone’s fault in general but I learn that graciousness can only come when it is within a person’s limits to handle. When I’m only given the Angel at times of need, I felt my role as a mother severely compromised and challenged. I did not have enough graciousness to understand that it would be only a passing period but then again, I am having a hard time thereafter in picking up the pieces of a disarray child after everyone is gone.

So, what is being gracious?

A quick google brings up gracious as characterised by kindness, warm courtesy, tact and propriety; being pleasantly indulgent, especially towards an inferior, and only one definition includes generosity of spirit.

When I was put in the challenging situation (1), I had the chance to share my view with an older lady who was there to witness the rude treatment that was rendered. In our lively conversation, she told me how true it is that people could have handled situations differently, and with age comes wisdom, flexibility, empathy; She emphasised on the need to listen and understand instead of saying ‘no’ all the time.

In my discourse with my friend, she said that being gracious takes time for changes to happen and that graciousness must begin with the adults, with the teachers, with parents, so that children can learn. She is right.

While we did find older people tend to be wiser with life’s experiences, there are others who are more set in their ways and more demanding, more negative.

In my opinion, being gracious is not only about being pleasant, kind and courteous but it is in that generosity of spirit which it all lies - the social graces, the civic-mindedness, the empathy, the tolerance. It includes being flexible, listening, empathising and understanding. There are so many times in life, when I think it just takes a little to be more gracious but it seems to be very difficult, perhaps because we are so short of listening, short of empathising, short of understanding.

The environment is very important to making us gracious. My friend said that graciousness must begin with the adults and she is absolutely right. How can our children be gracious when we ourselves are not?

Yet, at the same time, I believe that the conditions in the environment must be set right for graciousness to happen. There is an example which I can think of clearly, partly because of my exposure to the education system here, albeit short and interspersed with many absences.

In the UK tertiary education, everyone excels. I haven’t walked out of the class feeling defeated. Assignments and work are graded acording to merit and set rubrics. The grades that you achieve for yourself is set against the rubrics and everyone can score a First Class Honours if he so meets the standard.

In the Singapore tertiary education, a quota is set for those who deserve such honours. Rubrics are there as a guide but the quota sets one apart from that line of honour. You don’t get it not because you do not meet the requirements but because the number has been reached. You are just another number below.

In such an environment, I’m not sure if everyone can be gracious. Perhaps it is hard for the generosity of spirit to take place where one might cause oneself more detriment than good, so to speak, if one shares all. The environment doesn’t encourage the graciousness. Yes, we talk about excellence but possibly, without the character. My friend is right, it probably isn’t so much more of the environment than the examples set by the older people. After all, it is the older people who set the rules.

Sadly, the lack of graciousness is evident among many young people we have met, even when they are now set in a more gracious setting. We have overheard young people who felt that it was their entitlement to using up resources just because they have ‘paid their fees’ or that they would not want the trouble to organise an activity but they would enjoy it if others would take up that job, just don’t ask them to do it. Where is that generosity of spirit to serve without expecting something in return?

I remember once reading in a forum about a needy mother asking for baby products. The request for help turned into an accusation by donors and lengthy explanation from the mother. Again, where is the generosity of that spirit to give? Why so many judgements?

I remember how our ex-PM, Mr Goh Chok Tong mooted the campaign of “Towards a Gracious Society” more than 10 years ago and curious to see how it is going, I googled to find this speech which is worth reading (Singaporeans as ‘pigs’?).

Do I want to wait till I’m old to become more gracious? Does the Angel have to wait till she is wiser, with more experiences in life to become more gracious? I don’t think so. I think being gracious is like a good attitude which can eat into us and become our way of life and likewise, being ungracious will do that same. It is harder to unlearn than to learn, so we really need to start teaching our children to be gracious from young, that graciousness that is characterized by not only warm courtesy and pleasant kindess but most of all, generosity of the spirit. But before we start teaching, we ourselves, too, have to learn to be gracious, benevolent, rather than being so caught up in trying to be first, trying to win, trying to be the best and forget or purposefully want others to be left behind. It is not in the taking or the having of everything, it is not in the using of all resources, just because we have paid our dues. It really is about the spirit to give, to share.

It is very hard for me to be gracious when I find myself challenged by people who are not exactly gracious, who keeps demanding in very stressful circumstances. But that is where I think I should be truly gracious and learn to walk out of such situations gracefully and not to be yielded into such situations. I need to stop judging and move on.

It’s true, isn’t it, “it is not just the meritocracy nor the beautiful buildings. But …. the people … the values of its citizens.” The words of Mr Lim Biow Chuan sounds clear enough, “…. to be kinder, to be grateful to others, to be more considerate, to be humble, and to constantly be an encourager of our fellow citizens.”

Get it up, bring it on, that graciouness, that generosity of spirit, that will definitely make the world a better place. I’m learning and trying, too ….

Categories: The Bigger Issues
12 Comments »

So, the Angel has turned three and each year this time, I have the most excitement admist my busiest time.

Our Scottish friend, A, travelled all the way down from the Borders to celebrate the day with the Angel as it is also her birthday! What a lovely afternoon of chicken rice and quiet celebration and the company of splendid sunshine!

We had a barbeque this year and it was such a bash. Everyone brought along some food which added on to the pile! I really enjoyed having all those friends around and everyone talking to just about everyone else. It was meant to be some sort of a farewell party since very soon, we will be packing and leaving.

Most importantly, the Angel was happy.

Each year this time, I have many things to be thankful for.

When the Angel turned one, I was thankful that I made my first few friends in the UK. I’m eternally grateful to have C. as my faithful friend here. When the Angel was one, the party wasn’t so much of hers than ours!

When the Angel turned two, I was extremely thankful that she self-weaned off breastfeeding. At that point, I no longer enjoyed breastfeeding and was advised a ‘cruel’ way to wean her off. I held it off for as long as I could and thank God! She self-weaned, and before she was two, it was all over for me! I also learnt that the birthday song can be very calming for a child when it has meaning to her. The Angel really liked the birthday song session and when she had her upset moments, singing the birthday song gave the most soothing and calming effect above all else.

Just as the Angel was turning three, she finally discovered for herself the ’solution’ to her habitual night scratching. She has finally released us of those endless nights which had rendered me helpless and hopeless and her sleepless and bloody. Now, we generally enjoy a good night sleep and even if she is awaken, the habits of the past surface for only a short duration or none at all. Sleep is still sweet. Amazingly, for the first time in donkey months, the Angel went to sleep with the alternative dad with no fuss.

As for me, I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours and I feel as if I can still go on. I realise that the Angel’s birthday holds more meaning now for me than my own. In the quietness of the night, where finally everyone is asleep and I have the house to myself, I wish that sleep will steal upon me in this euphoric state of mind.

Categories: Uncategorized, The Angel
10 Comments »

This is really a busy week. My inlaws are here and the Angel is turning three.

I started planning, thinking, marinating, baking on Sunday night, fell asleep and woke up at 6am on Monday to carry on with the preparation.

My parents-in-law arrived on Monday morning and I arranged a little people’s party for the Angel and her friend, L.

I single-handedly prepared all the party food and baked a cake for the Angel which she can have! Last year, I remember how hard the group from Honeypot House came to our house to try to bake a cake sans wheat, sans eggs, sans milk! The cake was exactly what we had wanted it to be - a rabbit - but the taste was weird when we mixed them with all that soya flour, rice flour, and all kinds of flour to make it work! I had such a wonderful team of people helping me last year (I didn’t do much of the baking really) but this year, I’m completely on my own!

I tried baking a cake last month for a boy’s birthday and the Angel could have it. It really was a simple attempt but on Monday, I baked a blackforest lookalike cake for the little party. I quite like the overall effect after all that effort. I realise it is really fun baking your own child’s birthday and you can customised it to what your child likes.

Thanks to the Pilgrim Parent, I borrowed the memory game idea, but modified it to an ‘everybody wins spirit’. While each child took turns, both reaped the rewards when each could recall what was beneath the cloth. Such fun when they had such a ‘loot’ in their ’shopping bag’ which they have earned!

One of the greatest laugh we had at the party was when the Angel and her guest discussed about the conditions of their hands as a conversation topic, they both suffer from pretty acute eczema. At almost three, these two girls sure have very serious topics to share! It was such a laugh!

Now, at 4am in the morning, I have better get my skates on to prepare for the big party later on.

Categories: Where We Live
5 Comments »

I have been tagged by my cyber-parenting-pal, The New Parent, to reveal eight random facts about myself.

Here goes :

1) When I was young, I used to spend my weekends at my aunt’s place. Nothing sad about the place - my best cousins, my best aunt and uncle and my brother around. But each time I stayed over night, I’d cry my heart out on the phone with my mom and very often, ended up vomitting from too much crying. When I was thirteen, my mom had to go to work. I cried for a month. That period of time changed my perspective of life. I’m shameless about crying. It expresses all my emotions - anger, frustrations, grief, incompetence, helplessness ….

2) I am trusting and I can give up my last ounce of energy, my last cent if you so tell me you need it. I have done it countless times but when I so deperately needed help, those whom I have put in my most feigned ignorance or gave out of convenience. Life has taught me it is worth keeping something for yourself but frankly, I prefer giving my all. It is not worth living if I’m not a whole but I can live with the lesson.

3) When I was picked off the street by the alternative dad, I had dreadlocks. The night before my wedding, I was at Far East Plaza, trying to find a hairdresser who would charge me reasonably for dreadlocks. I gave up at their outrageous pricing. I was browsing in one of the shops, trying my luck at alternative means when I found a ’stranger’ (teenager) who accepted my offer. At 12am the night before my wedding, I found myself at her house having my dreads done. This is but just one of those many incidents in my life that happen to me where I ‘chance upon’ something, someone, some events - they are all blessings which I never thought will happen. I can’t tell you how many times they have happened to me before.

4) I love driving and I drive any make, any type. I drove horribly when I first passed, honed that skill everyday and got the knack of it. Acquired a fondness for long distance driving while in Australia for seven months during my extended honeymoon. Floored the accelerator and drove our not-so-good-looking but definitely best car (for speed) ever to the outback at 180km (that was the maximum on the speedometer). Fell in love with a dream car which became our wedding car. Few months before I gave birth to the Angel, we had to give Jude (her name) up. I sent it to the scrapyard and I cried (remember, I’m (1). Now, I don’t put any sentimental value on the cars we own.

5) I used to travel to find my identity (I tend to lose it once in a while), discover more about myself (strengths, weaknesses, faults and all). Nowadays, being a mother is an identity I have come to terms with and it also means my beauty and flaws are constantly being illuminated by the little person with me; all I need is a daily reflection. As for travelling, I’d prefer to find a place called haven, spend time knowing the local language, local people, local area, taking local transport, tasting local food. I can’t wait till the Angel can do all that with me! And if I’m going on a holiday, then, please, please, just spare me from the cooking. I mean it, but I’m really tired of planning meals for three years.

6) I was in the choir in primary school. When the Angel was young, I would sing all the songs I know and after each song, she would clap really eagerly - as if I was the best singer in the world. Once, while driving through the Netherlands, I was trying to sing to keep the Angel entertained. The alternative dad had to stop me from my singing. In the darkness of the night, I cried (remember, I’m (1). You see, I’m tone deaf. But I never stop singing to the Angel. I still make up all sorts of songs for her, with her. She reminds my greatest fan.

7) I’m trying desperately to get organised and of course, training the Angel to be, too. The alternative dad is going to hire a helper to pick up after us if we are still not up to it. This book I’m reading hasn’t changed my life.

8 ) I often ask God for 48 hours; 24 to fulfill my responsibilities and maybe if I have that extra 24, (7) won’t have happened. Actually, I’m just trying to do too much in my lifetime!

It’s an enjoyable tag and allows others to know more about me and me to know about other fellow bloggers, too!

Here’s for tagging 8 others :

1) Mel at Perspective of Life at a Different Pasture

2) Michelle at Life at Home as a Mom

3) Irene at Bits and Pieces

4) Priscilla at Moments in A Day

5) Big Pumpkin at A Mother’s Monologue

6) Jazzmint at Jutz 1 Blog

7) Shirley (Binky) at Binky, Blogging and Such

8 ) Dory at Dory’s Journal

Here are the rules, ladies :

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts. (Opps, I didn’t!!)
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Categories: Tag
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I spent the last week reflecting on Fathers’ Day . We decided that the alternative dad deserved to be treated to a good set of tools which he so desperately needed for all his DIY jobs. We had a nice evening of roast duck with our beloved friend, C, and had such a lot of laughter talking about the upcoming events in our lives.

What are fathers made of?

As a daughter, some skills and advice that my father has given me just sink deep in.

I love books from young and I remember once, my father told me, “You can read all books but there is no point reading books that are not worth reading. Just spend time on useful ones.” I usually am stawlart about the books I start on, but my father’s advice has a profound impact (although I used it much more later on in life).

I can still remember it was my father who introduced me to the Chinese ‘hanyu pinyin’ (phonics). The way he said it still rings in my ears now. I cannot remember if he taught me everything or the rest were learnt in school, but I like to believe and still think that it was him who taught me all of them and I remain grounded in them.

Recently, my parents came for a visit. After not seeing one another for so long, we had a lot of catching up to do, chatting about relatives. My father said a very wise sentence, “It’s not important what people do to us, as long as we remain close as a family and give one another support, that is what counts.” Sometimes, he reveals his thoughts in unexpected circumstances.

In many ways, my own father and the alternative dad are similar.

As a daughter, I sometimes do warm up to my father easier, given his more logical, less lengthy explanations.

As a mother, I enjoy the idiosyncrasies the alternative dad exposes the Angel to.

The way he teaches the Angel to handle his tools and learns how to take out nuts and bolts and what nots! The way he teaches her to sing (usually not the correct version!). How he almost never says no to her and where I know the question of ‘who’s the boss’ applies alot to him. His more detached, more logical deductions, practical lessons such as ’soft landing’, falling with the head up ….

As an individual, a father presents a different set of persepctives to a child. As a daughter and a mother, I value that difference and sometimes, it is worth learning the taciturn, concise, analytical and logical thought that both of them have taught me to explore.

Inspired by this post, I shall leave with the Angel’s words which I know will never fail to bring a smile over the course of the alternative dad’s day.

As I used to say with Valentine’s Day, now Fathers’ Day. To all fathers, everyday is a Fathers’ Day!

Categories: Where We Live
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So, this is the second part of our collaborative effort!

The first part of this two-part post is on The New Parent’s blog. There we introduced the idea of, “why not start to teach reading at an early age?” Here we discuss some thoughts on how.

Let us know what you think!

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Knowing that the Angel is ready but wondering if it’s too young to introduce reading, the alternative dad feels that introducing words may cause confusion. Furthermore, he is unsure if my personal observation of her readiness is indeed her readiness to read or if she’s merely interested in words. So will understanding words at such an age cause a child more confusion?

I asked the same questions, AM, but thought that her capacity to learn to read would broaden her language acquisition, and help her grasp concepts more readily. I started with single and two letter words, each written out large on an individual piece of poster board. I had studied many different approaches (including Glenn Doman’s), and brought aspects of each together. Short periods of learning (maybe 20-30 seconds), large type, repeated a few times during the day.

Well, TNP, recently, I’ve been spending time teaching a friend’s son, who is learning English as a second language (ESL). I go along with his school curriculum which uses phonics to teach reading. I am so impressed with the way that he can read words (even though he is unable to understand them) because of phonics. I’m swayed toward using phonics to teach the Angel. In fact, the Angel has picked up all her letters and phonics through three means - Touch & Discover Alphabet Town, Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Play Set - LeapFrog Interactive and Starfall website (self-navigation). It’s funny how I have come to acquire the two toys (not with the intention of teaching letters or phonics or at least thinking they would only come to such use later on).

Anyway, her exposure to all those have all contributed to her learning all the letters and sounds (I was surprised to discover it myself one day), when she pointed them out to me herself and sounded them out. But we have fossilized at that stage, because of my holding back to teach her reading. At the same time, because I have been spending a lot of time teaching and making resources for my friend’s son, the Angel has been picking up all our phonics. Is phonics the way to teach reading?

(laugh) I also went through the same thinking process as AM! What I ended up with was a combination of sight reading and phonics. I started to understand that each method has its strengths. Sight reading seems to be a powerful way to jump-start reading—if done calmly, without tension. Kids can access sight words quickly (as they are pronounced for the child) and this seems to give them “confidence.” Once my little one was sight reading and reading simple books, I began to integrate phonics into her learning. The two done in the right sequence can really get them reading!

Categories: Homeschooling
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